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| Thursday, January 26th, 2006 | | 1:29 am |
chapter two: ashlee simpson
ready for chapter two? here we go motherfuckers. ASHLEE SIMPSON DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE FAMOUS. She's LESS deserving than Paris Hilton, and she's LESS deserving than Haylie Duff. She can't sing, can't dance (COUGH SNL COUGH) and let's face it, she didn't do SHIT to get to where she is. At least Paris is KNOWN for being famous for no reaon, and she doesn't SUCK AT IT, like ASHLEE who could only get famous by mooching off of her sister's popularity. Real people in this real world WORK to get where they are, and are WORKING to get to where they want to be. Giving these people the attention they're getting is what's wrong nowadays. Also, Paris Hilton is not in the LEAST BIT attractive, so stop saying she is. WORK TO GET WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. If your dream job is being manager of Dunkin Donuts then by all means go for it. Don't give up, keep at it with those pastries and don't be a bitch and give in to people who tell you you're wasting life. Oh, by the way, this goes for rock star, garbage man, doctor, and porno director as well. LOVE? Humans are animals, and just like animals we have the same instincts: survival of the fittest, and we must PROCREATE. And let's face it, you dress up, you smell nice, and you do full body shaves because you want to have SEX. Its human nature. Females have more of a "oh let's cuddle" approach to "relationships" but that's because its FEMALE human nature to carry out their maternal instincts. Wait--what? Maternal? As in MOTHERING? SEX. Every male on this planet who is in a relationship is there because either a) they are using the girl he is with for SEX, b) he is good friends with them and also wants to have SEX or c) they are both in it for the SEX. TO THE WOMEN WHO MANIPULATE MEN/DON'T TELL THEM WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN/ASK IF YOU'RE FAT/COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW YOU NEED TO DROP A FEW POUNDS: Stop it. TO THE MEN WHO USE OR ABUSE WOMEN: fucking DIE. POP-PUNK IS CATCHY. Sure it tends to lacks substance, but you can't deny it makes you want to bounce around. If you tell me, or anyone otherwise, you are a liar. YOU'RE GOING TO WISH PEOPLE A MERRY CHRISTMAS NEXT YEAR, and not care if they are offended. If they're offended, or if you're offended, may you rot in fucking hell. DRUGS SHOULD BE LEGALIZED. You've never done drugs before, but you very well understand that if the government was regulating marijuana, heroin and cocaine that drug dealers would be off the streets, out of the jails, and there'd be a lot less murder and crimes over the matter. Just treat them like cigarettes. All they have to do is put a tax on them, make it legal for those 18 or 21 and older, and let the money roll in. Its a win/win situation FOR EVERYBODY. GEORGE W. BUSH SUCKS, but no one really ever backs it up. You aren't telling me anything to back it up. Odds are you sitting there telling me that he's an idiot, without knowing SHIT about him or his administration. Sure the man can't speak well, but its rare when people do ANYWAY. FARENHEIGHT 9/11 is a load of SHIT. FUCK GEORGE W. BUSH, but FUCK MICHAEL MOORE TWICE AS MUCH. THE IDEA OF HATE CRIMES IS IN FACT A HATE CRIME. Here's the concept of "hate crimes." White kid kills black kid. FUCK THAT. EVERY crime IS a hate crime. The fact that people are categorizing hate crimes with crimes involving COLOR A vs. COLOR B is stupid. The idea of civil rights is to make it so everyone is treated EQUALLY, and when people throw together bullshit terms like HATE CRIMES all that does is seperate the races FURTHER THAN THEY ALREADY ARE. | | Sunday, January 22nd, 2006 | | 11:32 pm |
chapter one: limbo
. I've never wanted to conform to what is generally expected of a livejournal.com post, so let's remove the label and let this be preachjournal.com for a bit. YOU'VE DUG YOURSELF INTO A HOLE. You've overanalyzed so much in your life that you have discovered TOO many things about yourself. This makes living difficult for you. But you never bitch or moan, unless its about "the stupid people." THE STUPID PEOPLE (or TSP) are the people YOU consider "dumber" than yourself. Sadly, they are probably enjoying themselves way more than you ever will. HOWEVER, on the other end of the spectrum, if you aren't being over-analytical you'll just become one of TSP. So, sadly, you're in LIMBO. You can't climb up--WAIT. "UP" and "DOWN" are associated with higher and lower opinions of things. We're going to use LEFT AND RIGHT. You can't dig left--you'll be trapped with your over-analytical mind even further than you already are. And if you climb right, you'll meet up with the rest of TSP, which right now are the people you "hate." PERHAPS the only way to truly be happy is just to LIVE LIFE. But why would you want to live life if you've decided that knowing less is more. But come on--this can't be true. If you knew nothing you'd be another one of TSP. YOU BEING SAD is FINE. HOWEVER. WHAT IS NOT FINE IS WHEN MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE YOU COME TO A GROUP OF PEOPLE WITH A BIG OLD :( ON YOUR FACE EXPECTING PEOPLE TO GO "oh bill whats wrong omg wtf" if you have a problem you should bring it up instead of being COLD and pretending you don't want to talk about it until someone brings it up. YOU TALKING JUST TO TALK is not helping anyone or anything. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. OPINIONS. Respect other people's and be smart enough to think for yourself and devise your own opinions. Agreeing with someone is not creating a FAD and is NOT jumping on the bandwagon, so don't worry about that. But to disagree JUST to disagree makes you the scum of the earth. "EMO" IS NOT A FUCKING GENRE OF MUSIC. 99% of all music is created AROUND some sort of emotion. So, if it WERE a genre, then ALL MUSIC would be classified as EMO. For those of you who disagree and "hate emo," how about this bombshell--your precious NINE INCH NAILS, their song HURT is the KING of "EMO" songs. "EMO" KIDS--get the fuck off of my planet. I mean, I know you're kewl, cause everyone hates you, including yourself, and you write poetry and make out with members of the same sex cause no one of the opposite could possibly be attracted to you, and your hair is out of a bad 80s movie, and you wear tight girl pants--THE TIGHTEST girl pants--and don't forget how kewl suicide is. If you were fucking what emo is SUPPOSED to be, you wouldnt be drawing yourself in a noose on your arm, leading into the word "PAIN" with each letter on each knuckle and a :( on your thumb's knuckle, you'd've been hanging in one years ago. You're not cool. You're a fucking FAD. Like POGS. And BEANIE BABIES. CLOSED MINDEDNESS is basically RACISM. PSYCHOLOGICAL RACISM. What about you when you think RACISM is BAD. Isn't that, in a way, racism? I mean its what those people BELIEVE IN, just like how YOU believe in GOD or in EVOLUTION. WHY ARE YOU GOING TO PARTIES to see everyone you hate get drunk and high? Does this please you? Does this make you respect them less? Do you get off on being able to say you don't respect them? Get back to me on that. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE? What an "EMO" question. Here's why you're asking. You've come to the conclusion that everyone and everything is derived from the desire to PROCREATE. LONG LIVE THE HUMAN RACE. Which leads you to believe that you can be nothing more than friendly, while attracted to a member of the opposite/same sex. You think love is as far as "good friends+sex." Maybe you're right. Tell me when you climb out of that hole. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SELFLESSNESS unless you are LITERALLY sacrificing yourself for the good of someone else, for no reason at all other than to help them. Every act you perform on this earth is in some way to benefit yourself. Even if it hurts you, it also feels good to sacrifice your participating in something if it makes someone happy. ANGER IS OVERRATED. "I'M MAD AT YOU FUCK YOU" is fucking ridiculous and makes no progress in a relationship, and it sure as hell doesn't benefit either party. If you have a problem you do one of two things. _______#1 - you sit down and talk it out like two smart human beings. ---OR--- _______#2 - in the rare case you'd rather LITERALLY never speak with them again, just cut em out of your life. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU DON'T SPEAK TO THEM EXCEPT WHEN THEY CALL YOU UP. THIS MEANS YOU CUT THEM THE FUCK OUT. YOU CAN'T JUDGE A GENRE OF MUSIC by the people who listen to it. EVERYONE IS A HYPOCRITE. One of the smartest people you've ever met told you that, and you better believe it. A PROMISE is nothing more than an excuse to let me yell at you when you break it. So instead, I'll take your WORD--assuming you aren't a lying bastard. LIFE SUCKS--but only if you let it. QUIT SMOKING. I don't believe that you don't have the willpower to NOT smoke for a week. I don't believe it. "EASIER SAID THAN DONE" right? No. You throw out your cigarrettes and your lighters and when someone offers you one you say "NO." Fuck the cravings and if you can't handle yourself well enough to keep control over what habits you're involved with, then you are quite the pathetic excuse for a human being. You don't deserve free will. | | Thursday, January 19th, 2006 | | 7:52 pm |
| | Monday, December 12th, 2005 | | 12:57 am |
| | Sunday, November 13th, 2005 | | 12:18 am |
| | Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 | | 10:24 pm |
| | Thursday, October 20th, 2005 | | 10:24 pm |
| | Saturday, September 3rd, 2005 | | 3:12 pm |
Oakland has possibly the worst baseball announcers on the face of the earth. They are so fucking ridiculously stupid. BOOP! | | Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005 | | 11:26 pm |
i'm very fucking lucky. and most of you are too. so fucking realize it, and quit complaining. | | Saturday, August 13th, 2005 | | 1:32 am |
IF you type anything like this; "liek hi!!!!1 zomg how r u? sumtimes i feel lyke i wanna cry juss cuz i no you hate me :(" you are the scum of the goddamn earth. | | Friday, August 5th, 2005 | | 2:04 pm |
YOU.
yes, YOU. you need a fucking attitude adjustment. | | Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 | | 12:58 am |
hmm.
I could smell her sweat. It was pleasant. The darkness of the room got to me, and I didn't know what else to do. My power struggle was finally over; my life was meaningless. Without the struggle why is it worth living? That's a stupid question. It's not. I turned over and looked at her. She was just lying there, contently. She had an almost sarcastic smile on her face. She was sleeping after a rough night. She liked it rough. She screamed and moaned in delight the whole time. I'm sure she wasn't faking. Not like that smile of her's. As I looked at her face, I admired the freedom of her blonde hair; the way it lay in front of her mouth. I felt like if my hair was that long I wouldn't be able to stand that tickling feeling on my lips. I noticed her smeared eyeliner and lipstick. I felt like I had just completed a beautiful work of art all my own. We had actually met at an art gallery. I'm a sucker for sculptures. I don't know anything about art, and I sure as hell don't understand it. Something about creating a shape like this or a person like that has always appealed to me. But she understood it, she knew all the meanings and all the terms, all that useless junk. I was the only one there that day, and she was the curator so it was her job to explain it to me. I didn't listen to a word she said though, I was too busy looking at those icey blue eyes and those shiny red lips. Her black eyeliner was applied perfectly and brought out her eyes so when she looked at you it looked as though she was really pissed off. She eventually caught on that I didn't care about what she was saying and smiled and giggled like a twelve year old. She knew I was thinking how pretty she was, and I knew she knew. I felt awkward and didn't know what to say. I've never had a girlfriend before, or even a friend who was a girl. They intimidate me too much. But this one liked to talk to me for some reason, even though I said nothing but "yes" and "really?" and "no." She probably thought I was a good listener or something. She ended her small-talk by asking me what I thought of Talaria's "The Image." I didn't know what to say. Not because I couldn't believe that she liked it as much as I do, but because I didn't know anything about interpreting art. Nor did I care to know. I just liked the way it looked. So that's what I told her. She smiled sarcastically and nodded. I saw that I could say anything and she wouldn't judge me harshly. I told her I liked that authority the first figure had over the other. It had a man looking down on another man who was on his knees. It was almost a shitty homosexual innuendo. The kind that the kids at my school would attack. Those fucking idiots. They can't just appreciate something and leave it alone. Always with the god damned gay jokes. I imagined how easy it'd be if they were here looking at it. He was on his knees because he was begging for mercy. I imagined that he wouldn't give him any mercy. I told her this, and she looked around and smiled at me again. It wasn't sarcastic this time though. It was sadistic. It was enthusastic. [edited for easier reading] We ran up two flights of stairs as she pulled my arm. She scrambled to get her keys out her pocket and into the door. She opened it and quickly and pulled me inside. She abruptly let go, and I stumbled but caught my balance before I could fall. She slammed the door and locked both locks. She quickly turned to me, her back pressed against the door. She smiled and had an evil look in her eyes. I didn't even have a chance to look around and admire the things on her walls like I usually do in a new place. She fucking charged me and took me down to the floor. My head hit the floor pretty hard and I was dizzy for a second. When I regained my composure she was already kissing me, and was practically already undressed. She whispered things to me like "I want you," and "fuck me hard." I was a little shy at first but I eventually got into it. I made her scream, and I knew she was enjoying herself. I imagined Talaria's sculpture as we fucked, and I couldn't get it out of my mind the whole time. At one point, we rolled around until she was on top. Something was off-balance for me that way, so I rolled over and I was on top. I held her arms down to the cold, hard floor so she couldn't move. I think I hurt her, but I think she liked that. It was so empowering. It was so perfect. And just like that it hit me: I didn't need to look at that sarcastic smile to know she thought she was dreaming about. I realized how to get my authority back. I sat up and began to breathe heavily. I knew what was coming, but she didn't. She was weak and stupid anyway, it wouldn't have even mattered if she did know. I had to psych myself into knowing it would be worth it in the end. I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head down. I needed to contemplate the consequences. But it would be worth it in the end, and I knew that. I clenched my teeth hard together and I could taste blood. I could smell blood. I could live on these sensations, I thought. I stood up and slowly walked over to her side of the bed. Let's not say "the" bed.. let's say "my" bed. I made it mine after tonight. I smothered her face with my pillow until I knew she was dead. I could tell she wasn't faking it, not like that smile of hers, but I held it on her a little longer than I probably needed to. I slowly lifted the pillow from her face, and my hand from her throat. I stared at my artwork. I created this. It was perfect. I could smell her sweat. It was pleasant. | | Wednesday, July 20th, 2005 | | 8:48 pm |
She put it down. It didn't matter anymore. She knew there was nothing she could do. She knew that the lie had become too great to stop, and the her greatness had gotten the best of her. "My attitude is going to get me places." The boy looked at her confused. She thought he was intimidated. He was only confused as to how someone could be so ridiculous. 'It's great if that's her attitude about her career. But I've only just met her. I'm not really standing in her way or nothing. She must be a lonely, lonely girl.' And she was. | | Thursday, July 7th, 2005 | | 1:31 pm |
alright i take back (some of) what i said last night. mental addiction DOES show something about your character but we all have that too. so it goes a lot deeper and i have shit to do. i'll try again perhaps later tonight. | | 12:47 am |
little quirks and little twitches, will you ever go away? nah they won't, you're always going to be imperfect aren't you? you're pathetic? no, you're regular. if you don't have little quirks and little twitches, THEN you are pathetic. this is not some OMG IF IM NOT NORMAL IM KEWL statement, this is a statement of what should already be obvious. no one is quirk and twitch free, and if you think you are you're lying to yourself and you just absolutely suck. "green eyes have never felt so red." or something gay to that extent. you know what else is ridiculous? a mental addiction. a physical addiction is understandable; the body relies on a certain substance to function normally or properly. but if you can't overcome a mental addiction then that shows something about your character, doesn't it? "green eyes have never felt so red." or something gay to that extent. gah. i can't get out what i'm trying to say. hopefully someone will get it. also, i'm so fuckin stoned right now. | | Friday, July 1st, 2005 | | 11:20 pm |
*the following is from the same person as before* (5:53:24 PM): wanna know what i think of local bands? (5:53:49 PM): *bends over and spreads em and drops a log* DylPykl47 (6:47:45 PM): on behalf of every band youve ever listened to in your entire life. thanks nig. HOW. HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO INCREDIBLEY IGNORANT AND RIDICULOUS. THIS PERSON IS THE LOWEST FORM OF BEING. THE SHITSTAIN ON HUMANITY. THE BANE OF EXISTENCE. THEY DON'T LIKE IT JUST TO NOT LIKE IT. THEY'RE A FUCKING RETARD. don't be a fucker like this, seriously. It's cool if you don't like our music. no one says you have to. its cool if you think every local band is a piece of shit, that's your opinion. but to be so ignorant to randomly say "DURRRR EVARY BAND IS GAY TEEHEE!!1!" is fucking ridiculous, especially if you've never heard EVARY BAND. fucking ridiculous. how do they not understand that their precious GUNS N' ROSES or NIRVANA or NINE INCH NAILS started as a fucking local band? THE LOCAL SCENE IS WHAT PUT THEM ON THE MAP. if you think like this you're a fucking idiot. you're just a fucker, and i don't want you to ever speak to me again you fuck hole. don't be like this fucker. come support local music. we need SIXTY FIVE people at the venue of scottsdale to come support us (breed) and this is not just another showcase. this is a major opportunity for us. there are going to be record execs and labels there. we really really need everyone's support for this show, let's make it bigger and better than the last. bring yourself, bring your family, bring your friends. we REALLY need support guys. doors at 3, $8 from us, $10 at the door. | | Saturday, June 25th, 2005 | | 4:25 pm |
what are you scared of. that someone'll criticize you? i'm gonna criticize you right now for thinking that. you're a fuckin idiot. everyone criticizes everyone. not a soul on this fucking planet hasn't. don't lie to yourself and say you haven't, because you HAVE. don't lie to me, or yourself. accept that you are a hypocrite, and that everyone is in one way or another. accept that doing shit behind someone's back is not acceptable in most situations. no one's gonna tell you not to. no one's gonna call you stupid. they may think it but you'll never know. but i'm telling you right now. you're stupid. you're fucking stupid. fuck you for doing this. where has the trust gone? tell me. | | Friday, June 24th, 2005 | | 8:21 pm |
| | Saturday, June 18th, 2005 | | 2:12 pm |
DEREK FUCKING JETER FUCKING GRAND FFUCKING SLAM FUCKING ASLKFJASLKJFASLKFJALKSJLKAFALKJAJLKFAJSL KFLKJAFAJLKAJLKJALKSALKJAKLJFKALJFSLKASF LKAJFLKAJFSLKASFJLKASJFLKASJFLKASJFLKASF LKASJFLKASFJLKASFJALKSJLKSJAFLKFJALKJKAL S | | Thursday, June 16th, 2005 | | 12:42 am |
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